A different Sunday Morning
It's 5:15 am. I have got up quite early today, or rather not slept properly for last two days. Probably, due to some disturbances near the week end. I am tying to avoid & go over them. If I'm correct God will help me to surpass all such problems.
It’s a romantic morning otherwise. A little breezy, to stand in balcony with a cup of tea in one hand & favourite music played at the back, with some thoughts overshadowing (which are not supposed to disturb me at this hour). Else everything is well placed;
Current song Celine Dion - “When you wanted the most…..”
Let me gear up, it’s Sunday & my friends won’t like to see me dull & I don’t have any proper reason to tell them about my mood. Anyway, have truck load of work to do, lots of shopping done, bought diwali gifts for everyone at home (buying presents & then the special moments of smile on the face of loved ones when we gift them, makes life worth living) packing the stuff, and then leaving for a long holiday. All of you, who told me for Dusherra holidays at home, it’s time to envy ;-), I m leaving home this week, that too for a fortnight. Will try to keep the web-log updated, if I get time ;-), else start missing me Wednesday onwards.
BTW, Happy Halloween, for those who want to celebrate it!!
Missed the fun…..
This week it was the birthday of one of the most important person in my life. I surprised him by giving a call at 12. Was it a surprise or he actually expected something like this from me?? I kept calling him at different hours of the day so that he doesn’t feel about the distance which has kept us apart on such a special day. With every phone call I tried to make him sense my presence close to him, getting info about how is celebrating the day, what’s special there, etc…etc. Actually wanted to be in close proximity to him :-(
I hate being away from loved ones on such special days, when they actually want to enjoy, laugh & have fun by spending the day with us. Miss you Dad, hope you had a great birthday….!!!!
:-(
Acquainted With the Night
By Robert Frost
I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain--and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.
I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.
I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,
But not to call me back or say good-by;
And further still at an unearthly height
One luminary clock against the sky
Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.
unlived-life
Recently got this image from one of the groups,I found it inspiring & really worth sharing!!
Hope by being more helping,friendly & approachable we live the life fully!!
OGR's
Recently came across OGR's while reading an article on distributed computing.This is what i gathered after little google search.
"In mathematics, the term "Golomb Ruler" refers to a set of non-negative integers such that no two distinct pairs of numbers from the set have the same difference. Conceptually, this is similar to a ruler constructed in such a way that no two pairs of marks measure the same distance. An Optimal Golomb Ruler (OGR) is the shortest Golomb Ruler possible for a given number of marks. Golomb rulers are named after Dr. Solomon W. Golomb, a professor of Mathematics with a special interest in combinatorial analysis, number theory, coding theory and communications. OGR's have many applications including sensor placements for X-ray crystallography and radio astronomy. Golomb rulers can also play a significant role in combinatorics, coding theory and communications, and Dr. Golomb was one of the first to analyze them for use in these areas.
A Golomb ruler is a way to place marks along a line such that each pair of marks measures a unique linear distance. Here is a Golomb ruler with five marks:
| | | | |
0 1 4 9 11
The number below the mark is the distance from the left edge. The length of this ruler is 11, and it happens to be one of the two shortest such rulers with five marks. The other ruler has marks at positions 0, 3, 4, 9, and 11. (The mirror images of these two rulers, 0, 2, 7, 10, 11 and 0, 2, 7, 8, 11, are also optimal Golomb rulers. Usually just one of each mirror-image pair is mentioned.)"
Unfortunately, the search for OGRs becomes exponentially more difficult as the number of marks increases (similar to what mathematicians call "Np complete" problems ... like the infamous Traveling Salesman optimization ;-)).
Anyway, that, in a nut shell, is a Golomb Ruler! If you want a more complete description please do little googling!
Stealing Time....
In Bombay or Mumbai there is more craze for ‘Lord Ganesha’, with ‘Ganesha Chaturthi’ just passed, all the sea-beaches were fully crowded with everyone bringing the ‘Lord Ganesha’ idol.
I love to write about weekend, and this weekend (with Friday as add-on) was for Dusherra & Durga Puja. In Maharashtra & especially Gujarat, the festival is celebrated flamboyantly with Dandia & Garba (dances in which people participate whole night, usually nice entertainment for young couples ;-) ) It has spread to other parts of the country also but for actual fun you have to be here.
This weekend was exciting. A great experience to join local relatives for offering ‘pushpanjali’ (floral tribute) in an authentic & amazing Durga Puja celebration(although, was a bit different than the way celebrated at home with offering sweets & gifts to kids).
Let it be any place in India, Bombay or Delhi, it doesn’t matter, the vigor to celebrate the festival remains the same. But the real pleasure of the festival is at home only. Nevertheless, the way I spent the weekend after a week’s fast was much more than my expectations.
When returned back to my desk on Monday morning, could barely find time to look around. After being away from blogging for so long, can’t resist my temptation to post. With work piled up, I feel tom'row also the day will be the hectic.
Localization..........??
Localization is the buzzword heard with sites like Yahoo & Google these days...So i thought as I keep googling for one topic or the other...let's go & try something with localization,so i pressed 'more' on the Google homepage.I had to see what's new for their localisation section so i went down from there to 'google local'. So here it is, it gives me an option to search anything locally ('What & where') & example it gives is for "coffee shops" somewhere in NY.I got excited & next second i tried to look for "coffee shops" in my city.I was amazed when it says 'Unable to understand address' for cities like Bombay,Chennai,Bangalore,New Delhi. Probably since its in its Beta stage. So i just typed 'NY'...it beautifully laid down the addresses of coffee shops in NY after search and a map.You can actually go & click on the map...zoom out.But the thing I liked the most was the Directions feature.For every location enter a 'starting address' & 'destination address' and it gives you the step by step driving directions, with estimated distance & time,along with map with each instruction. There is an option to make the map interactive & much more.If you don't know any address in NY ;-) just go & type '2nd avenue', it will give you a dropdown list, select any of them ;-).I tried the same with google india but it also redirects you to same google.com 's 'more' list .
If you haven't seen it, you have to actually visit & try yourself to feel the features they are trying to put there....I am thinking, someday,not very far from now,when I will be on road driving some vehicle(which i love to ;-)),carrying some small device, won't have to stop & ask the shopkeeper on roadside how far is the 'McDonald' ,'Shopper's Stop' or 'Barista' from this place.I will simply go & check on some such site with localized info for driving directions...........
Recently read an article and all this is good news for companies that sell VoIP-related products. Service providers need some way to deliver
VoIP (Voice over IP, commonly called internet telephony) to the masses and to enterprises, so we're now seeing a slew of new products and services to help them do it.
"The market for doing this is big,
and getting bigger every day. A recent IDC forecast says that worldwide sales of IP-telephony equipment will increase by 48 percent in 2004 and reach $4.9 billion in sales by the end of the year. Sales will grow by more than 50% in 2005 and 2006, and will reach $15.1 billion in 2007, says the report.
Gartner Dataquest estimates that businesses spent $2.0 billion on IP-capable telephone systems in North America alone last year. It adds that enterprise spending for IP-phone systems will reach $4.2 billion in 2007."
For all inquistive network lovers,
this link may serve some purpose with links to almost all protocols & standards.
Hard Rock Cafe ,Niagara Falls,NY
For all those Beatles fans out there..!!A message which means much more deeper than expressed in words..!!
Smiles....!!
I have stopped taking life for granted. No one knows what is going to happen the next second, so how can I think that I will be fine where ever I go. One thing that I do is – always smile. Trying to make the stranger, the new comer, or a shy person more comfortable.
I have learned that life is all about giving, who cares if I get anything in return or not. If I do get something then it would be great, but if not then that is not a problem either, because I would not be taking anything with me when I die. I came with absolutely nothing in my hands and will definitely go empty handed. All that I can give and get from the people is a little happiness and a few smiles.
This city never sleeps.......!!
The rains here are torrential at times, last from June to August (Monsoon Season). The two months - May and October - which come immediately before and after the monsoon are inclined to be humid and sticky.The rains just stop the normal life.I remember how my friend was not able to move out for three days thanks to the rains this season,so sad ;-).A good deal of local color derives from the mixed nature of its population. Apart from the local inhabitants (Maharshtrians, Gujaratis, Parsis, Goans, Kannadis, and Tamils), there are thousands from other parts of India who come here to make a living. The different customs, languages, and even the food eaten can make a fascinating study.
One of the places i liked here is hanging gardens....(not to be mistaken with
The Hanging Gardens Of Babylon)The terrace garden, completed in 1880, looks south from Malabar Hill towards Colaba, and affords a panoramic view of Bombay. It is built over three reservoirs which store 30 million gallons (!!) of water pumped here for cleaning before being supplied to the town.
I am missing life..the fun,the laughter,the caring & sharing with friends & relatives...When all my friends are mailing that they are going to north for Dusshera holidays,I ask myself when will I go home......??
They say life here is fast...I need more than one hour to reach my nearest friend(or the only one here)...really fast !!. I think i need to work at some place like Chennai,Bangalore,Hyderabad or Gurgaon where most of my friends are there :-). The localites say THIS CITY NEVER SLEEPS...Its true....when you are feeling down, not getting sleep, seem to be lost in thoughts...just stand on the terrace,& see at midnight or early hours of day,you will get to know....THIS CITY REALLY NEVER SLEEPS...
The deafening Silence..........!!
Its morning 3:30 am.I am reading online some material for my next project from around 10pm but I find concentrating is a bit difficult...I am disturbed.I am sad not for the vitriolic & surprising words and actions of the unknown people, but for the appalling silence of the good people.
Quote of the Day.....!!
Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say.
~Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
My friend say something before people are lost again in the crowd as a stranger to you....before people depart taking a wrong opinion about you.....
Presence...!!
In life we meet lot of people,
But you like to make friends with few.
In those few some touch your life in such a way that:
Their presence is felt in their absence too.
Pain Vis-a-Vis... Happiness...!!
When I am on the sea-shore I love making a small house with sand....but at that time I forget that the wave will come & spoil my creation.....
Like that are our thoughts, we may think whatever good about any materialistic or non-materialistic things but in the end whatever happens is at times what we have never dreamt of.....
Last night I saw again Life is Beautiful, its a movie everytime I see it shakes all my emotions...the father being such a good parent that he never allows his son to realise the pain & trauma they are going through...putting everything as a game....Everytime i see the movie I laugh,I cry,I learn a lot and I am left thinking...it takes over my thought process....Everything in the movie is so beautifully placed....
Very few people can see this movie or appreciate it...according to them they cannnot handle such high-end emotions...
I see it as a learning experience,which teaches me to keep the persons I care about happy in whatever way I can.At this moment when I am hurt for the reasons untold, I think if there are pesons who think alike & live for sharing joy & pain of others & not for themselves...and I m Sure...Definitely there are...
Does practicality reigns over emotions today?Do people find it so easy to mock at others...Then why do i get hurt when some stranger behaves weird...Is it that we should never put our trust & belief on strangers...But whomever I know today, was a stranger some day..,
I imagine if i could make a C program for life so that all the conditonal statements, behave in the way that there is happiness all around.Life in itself is such a great puzzle, I don't know how people love to solve other small puzzles,without solving the puzzle of their LIFE...
I will make the castles near the sea again when i go near the shore & i am sure it will be a beautiful one...even if it is being made against the sea (understanding of people who don't care)
Today i am hurt & think I should better shut up & stop writing....Can I someday learn to say easily like others Without being thoughtful "I don't care"....But then what difference will be between them & me......
Its all about a search............!!
I Just Read this article.............
Googling the Real World?
Everyone exists.....Let's Try to LIVE....!!
If we want to live a better life we have to open & stretch ourselves.If we don't then we are restricted in our own confines & we are not allowing anybody to enter into our domain.
To learn more,to understand people & the reason why they reacted like this with us...God give me the courage to DO MORE than exist,touch,read,look,hear. (..For those who can't see the image..)
Empower me to LIVE than just existing,FEEL than just touching,OBSERVE than merely looking, ABSORB rather than just plain reading, To LISTEN instead of only hearing and above all give me the power to UNDERSTAND me,myself & others.....!!
Life is not just doing the daily schedule...do something more...share with someone a bit of love,laughter,pain...give a meaning to your life...
In this world everyone exists...U & I should try to LIVE....!!
Sharing.......!!
Sometime back I had read this article (which I have put it in my words)…..
I screamed with glee as the tug on my fishing rod nearly pulled me onto my face. With his strong arms, my father reached over and helped me reel in the big mass of sea weed. He and my sister began laughing as I stared in disbelief. “It’s OK,” he smiled, “we’ll get another one.” It didn’t help that my mom nearly dropped the camera from laughing so hard.We never did get a fish, but through the years he helped me in many other ways. I would work in his dental office after school and help any way I could. At night, he would help me with my homework. And my sister led the family cheering section when I received my college diploma. We were a team.I realize now how much happier my life is when I am working with others or sharing. Whether they are helping me, or I am helping them, burdens seem a little lighter and time is a little sweeter. And some day I just might get that fish.
But when I think, I feel….
We are born savage and self-centered, and then, we get over it. We become civilized. We enter a state in which we understand that sharing is good.
And just as sharing makes us civilized, it's sharing that makes civilization. It lets us build a great collective work from the exchange of stories, myths, songs, poems, facts, jokes, beliefs, scientific discoveries, elegant engineering hacks, and all of the other products of human thought and discourse.
I know that this is a fairly obvious observation. That's why I'm stunned that so many kinds of sharing have suddenly, without public debate, become criminal acts. For instance, lending a book to a friend is still all right, but letting him read the same book electronically is now a theft.
Of course, the justification for this tightened control is the Internet, which ironically, grew almost entirely from sharing. Imagine how different things would be today if IBM had maintained proprietary control over the architecture of the personal computer, or if Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn had created a highly proprietary company called TCP/IP, Inc. What if Tim Berners-Lee had decided to take out a software patent on the World Wide Web?
The fact that the Internet makes it possible for individuals to distribute their intellectual creations directly to consumers terrifies the old industrial intermediaries. At the same time, the Internet gives intermediaries the potential to extract a fee from every single repetition of an expression. Unfortunately, this infringes on the time-honored practice of fair use.
Should I share my thoughts here…….??
Quote of the Day.....!!
"One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. ~André Gide "
We should come out of the bounds made by none other than us and share.......its a nice medium....and there is no such pleasure like sharing your thoughts with others & knowing them...!!
It Pains.....!!
Population helps you a lot...You don't have to struggle to get inside the local train here...the crowd just pushes you and you are inside the local...Will rarely get a seat to sit ... Huh.....On top of it....My hand came in the window of the local train today evening while returning from a friend's house...I wish I would not have got the seat only...Now ,How will I update my blogs :-( ........?? It pains....
Whether Weather Matters.....???
Evening or rather night walks are very pleasing & romantic,walking down the moonlight thinking & discussing with your friend how you spent your whole day & how you plan for tommorow is a great experience... the only thing I love about this city is the beaches & the sea breeze which makes nights so beautiful.....but afternoons are extremely bad.....they are so sticky...but I think i can enjoy the flavour of a calm & composed night because I have seen the extreme heat of the sun....
For those who can't get the expression of above lines relative to life I will just say in short "One who has seen the pains in life (heat of sun), can only understand & enjoy the meaning of love, care & happiness(beauty of night)."
Quote of the Day...!!
For the man sound in body and serene of mind there is no such thing as bad weather;every day has its beauty,and storms which whip the blood do but make it pulse more vigourously.
~George Gissing
Is this hype or its right........??
If you follow Indian financial press, there is no doubt that the Indian BPO industry has firmly and unequivocally, arrived. But is this really the case? I was somehow trying hard to restrain myself from not writing this article but every day newspapers are littered with proud press releases of companies adding seats, adding people, adding infrastructure, opening new centers and expanding……so I simply can’t control to question it…….
** THE FACTS** Even though the entire BPO industry in India employs just 170,000 people (Citigroup alone employs 1.5 times that number); even though the largest company in the industry is way under $ 100 million in revenues; even though General Motors alone generates greater revenue in 3 working days than total Indian BPO revenues in a year; even though there are no industry benchmarks for performance; there is a unshakeable belief that BPO is here to stay and what we are doing is right.
**THE PROBLEM** The problem, simply put, is this – there is insufficient emphasis and quality managerial thought being applied to strategy and direction. Every BPO company in India wants to grow as fast as possible and as a result, there is a mad scramble for size.
Imagine a child who goes through the education system with no specific thought to what he wants to be when he grows up – he is largely influenced by parents or peer groups and has a no more than average chance of maximising his potential in life. There are enough of us who have done that and while it is not disastrous, it does not create exceptional individuals. Real winners are fired by passion. They know what they want to do; they go after it with focus and energy and they will stay with it for a long time regardless of what people say.
**LACK OF STRATEGY** In very much the same way, as long as the Indian BPO companies do not have a clear vision around what they want to be when they “grow up”, they will always be influenced by what everyone else is doing and run with the herd.
There is very clearly a lack of strategy. Strategy is as much about deciding what NOT to do than about deciding what to do. If this be the case, you would expect a BPO company with a powerful strategy to actually turn down deals – something that is close to heresy in the BPO industry.
There are 3 kinds of BPO companies in India – the captives, the VC funded companies and the IT subsidiaries. The captives have no ability to choose the type of work they do (they are a cost centre working at the whim of the parent and only need to manage themselves as efficiently as possible); the independent companies are driven towards as rapid value creation as possible which makes slow, deliberate growth an unattractive choice.
This only leaves the BPO subsidiaries of IT companies. Their positioning is a longer term play which gives them a greater ability to take a strategic approach to the market. If the Indian BPO industry does not have non standard thinking, non standard business models and the courage to experiment, the daring to be different, we will lose the initial lead we have over our competitors. The real battle is not between one Indian BPO company and another but between India and China.
We need our BPO workforce to see the industry as a place which can give them long term and fulfilling career opportunities and not as a place where they come to get their accents neutralised and move on. We need the customers to see us as a strategic, viable and low risk alternative to “doing it themselves” rather than as a tactical answer to next quarter’s earnings problem.
If we get it right, we will dominate; if not, we will follow. If we have the foresight, the staying power and the strategic vision, we will do it. If not, the world is not a forgiving place. It is once in many lifetimes opportunity … and it is ours to lose.
Quote of the Day.....!!
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
Trust......!!
All relationships between any two persons in the world are based on trust.
If i put it in mason's terms --
"Trust forms the foundation of the strength of a building called a relationship".
In the language of the programmer--"Trust is the base class while all other features like Love,care,affection are the derived classes of this."
If we give someone respect it means that its implied that we trust the person.The last thing which we expect from those we trust is they should not pasquinade and make fun at our back.....After my recent experiences the thought has gained strength that It is better not to give the honor of trust to strangers....they simply don't deserve it!!
Quote of the Day...!.!
A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.
~Miguel de Cervantes
Isn't 8% over-ambitious........??
In the first quarter of the current financial year (April –June 2004) , the financial growth has been recorded as 7.4% as compared to 5.3% for the same period last year.
The speculations are --Is growth rate of 8% possible for current financial year…??The government seems to be paying more attention to infrastructure reforms and cost cutting measures.
The IMF has projected India's growth at 6.4 percent ... It said the left-backed Congress government elected in May planned an "ambitious fiscal adjustment" to balance its current budget by 2009 while hiking spending in priority areas such as health, education and infrastructure.It called the fiscal goal "broadly appropriate" but said spending rises should hinge on boosting revenues and that accelerating structural reforms -- such as freeing up trade -- were key to increasing growth and cutting poverty.
India's revenue collection is expected to be lower than targeted this year after the government cut duties on petroleum products and steel to fight inflation running at three-and-a-half year highs.
The IMF has projected this growth rate despite patchy monsoon rains that have raised concern about farm output in the agriculture-dependent nation of over one billion people.
Some tools that the Indian government can use to pursue its aim of a high and sustainable growth of the Indian economy.
Quote of the Day............!!
Don't try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough.
~Arthur Freed
Captivation....!!
On weekend I got a chance to visit the outskirts of the city on a drive for some important work. It is so romantic to see the nature in its true form.....Small landscapes of captivating loveliness.
It reminded me of my school days. The school was located away from the chaos of the city….in between more than half the stretch was full of natural beauty the eucalyptus trees, mustard farms, grasslands…..everything was so scenic. The school bus used to take around 45 mins. The morning talks in bus used to be about news, quote of the day or about any of the subjects. The real fun used to start in the afternoon, each day was a picnic in itself. Everyday we used to sing, scream & enjoy…I still remember singing the song from DDLJ whenever we crossed the mustard farms…..
The long drives are more exciting if they are on a motorbike…...bikes have been an important part of my life….With unforgettable rides along with dad in childhood & now with brother on his bike..…Days have passed, papa usually drives car these days but still I prefer to go for ride with him on the bike. I know driving but have never tried a bike & thus driving a bike is one of my dreams, which brother asks me to turn to realization. I know I will fulfill this dream also one day….No matter what the age, or the condition, my dreams are renewable. Whether I am 5 or 105, unless I die, I have a lifetime ahead of me…...
(What’s more exciting than writing about things which enamor & captivate for the 50th post on the blog :-))
Why do we meet new people..??
People come into your life for
a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is,
you know exactly what to do.
~Michelle Ventor
Better realise the worth of people you meet, and act accordingly.Nobody stops for us.Life continues....By the time we realise their importance & how much they care for us, people go away."Let bygones be bygones"--else we will be sitting on the bank of the river & others will swim across.
Today,without even realising it, you may be the answer to someone's prayer.Don't worry about whether you believe in miracles; just believe that your thoughtfulness, and your love really do wonders in lives of others.........
A Midas Touch.......!!
Recently got mp3 of
Gypsy Soul -New Flamenco. (Follow the link, you can listen to clips)I don't know how any musical instrument is played :-( but like instrumental music a lot;be it on any musical instrument and if its guitar,mandolin or piano, it just creates a sensation in the nerves. I m not a music analyst, I am a listener. I am just a lover of music and these are the tunes any lover of music will enjoy, any lover of REAL music.
I read--"Spanish flamenco is a music style that has so many cultures mixed into it. It has styles all the way from the Indians to the Arabs and to the Jews."
Pieces like "Zyryab" and "Duende" have a really romantic effect. Driving to Madrid takes you away with its flow.The playing is extremely exquisite on guitar. There is just so much talent here vibrating with life and passion. The music is mixture of tunes with deep emotions and thoughts.This is art blended with emotion and sensuous feeling. Can be played any number of times. You play it and you are out in some other world !!
From A to B sometimes via C...........!!
Transport was invented as a way from getting from a point A to a point B, sometimes via a point C. Often these places had addresses.
Walking was the earliest method of getting around on foot. It became uncomfortable in bare feet though, so footwear was invented.
" The Romans were known for their roads. The roads became very popular, especially on Bank Holidays. Road works had to be carried out. A soldier would keep watch in each direction, whilst a third man was employed to hold up the traffic lights. There are five lights as you can see - from top to bottom these were:
'Stop',
'Hold Steady'
'Be patient',
'Not long now'
'Go'. "
Got this old roman picture from a history site.In the era of every thing going mobile. The concept of Mobile traffic lights ;-)
Strange isn't it.....??
Quote of the Day!!
I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.
My Confession:
I confess my errors, those who are strong & understand the meaning & purpose of this confession will forgive me.I hope they do not want me to come & say sorry personally & let me feel down.....because they know if I say,I mean It.
They can direct the relation in any direction--enemy,stranger or friend.......ball is in their court now!!
Some special moments.......
*****Post Moved now to my personal blog*****
Is this only called ambidexterity....??
Some good memories associated with this exceptional masterpiece !!
Sentiency of the mind........!!
I think anyone can hardly forget the experiences of their first job. The anticipation, excitement & stream of turbulent thoughts before entering the workplace for the very first time after graduating….its absolutely different. As I turn around and think over that period I cannot stop smiling at myself.
The professional life started with surprises- as I walked to my seat in the office, I saw all the eyes gazing me as I passed by. I was confident while I moved but was confused at the response. Thinking that haven’t these guys seen any new person in this dept. I placed myself in the seat and tried to concentrate in my work but can listen to people around me passing strange comments. For me it was quite absurd as I had just left college & felt like I am back to days when I first walked into my Eng. college as a fresher.
The curtain was raised slowly as the days passed. I got to know that I was the youngest person in my department, the only unmarried female (not that there were too many married ones also, only two of them, one was recently married & other’s hubby was working with us only.). Every now & then I was disturbed, whether I welcomed or not with strange comments --directly or indirectly. When I got my first salary cheque, it was the day of the highest drama. All the colleagues got a valid excuse to make comments….someone saying …..Madam, today is a big day of your life, where are you taking us today for a treat?...suddenly other replied…What’s the need to go any where, let’s call Pizza Hut & order in Madam’s name…and many more flowing in. I consulted a few, that what’s the usual way of giving treat here & treated them accordingly.
Not that I was not enjoying the fun around but somehow something was felt missing always. Thanks to my education in co-ed that I never find it difficult to discuss or work in male centered places. I talked to a lot of them but found most of them talking far away from my line of thinking. The life was a 180 degree turn, people hardly talked the way we used to discuss issues in college…….Is this called getting mature…?? I don’t think so.
I left that place long ago. But now at the position I am today, I find myself completely changed, I hardly care for unnecessary comments. I talk only to people who make sense, share fun or laughter or knowledge. The last stranger I met talking sense after long ,was Mr. X on the anonymous chat. It was a great experience discussing with him various issues of the life.(More about it later) I would like to talk to him more if happen to meet him online or in person at some point in life but this time as a friend & not a stranger. I still go & visit the site , the reason through which we met online accidently but somehow…. Saying something now seems to be really arduous although not impossible...its my self-respect which stops me...which at times i find to be a trifling word as when it comes in between a relation, is a hindrance to express ourselves...I wish somehow people can understand us & that we should not let self come in between….an understanding without explanations from us but before saying it to others i have to first let my self down as its said "Be the change you want to see in the world ". I hope I will do it one day ......but I feel a person of stature like Mr. X won't like to see me down.
